Thursday, 18 August 2011

Mark Walden Blog Tour: Villainous Dinner Party

So Mark Walden has written up an awesome blog post for the release of his new book, Aftershock (book 7 in the HIVE series). The books sound awesome (Ally Carters spy series-esque only super villains instead of spies and a little less girl oriented).

You can find the other tour posts by clicking the blog tour button in the sidebar and you can find more info on Mark's website, the HIVE website, Mark's twitter or his facebook.

by Mark Walden

Summary: Scheming, extorting, menacing and general evilness are nothing new in the world of villainy - indeed it's expected. But there are codes of conduct. Until now. In an attempt to purge the Global League of Villainous Enterprises of its more destructive elements, Dr Nero has underestimated the cunning and resources of those who oppose him. Meanwhile, Otto and the rest of the Alpha stream have been sent to begin their most feared exercise: The Hunt, in the icy wastes of Siberia. But there is a traitor in their midst. The first strike against Nero will be a strike against the Alpha stream. Villain-kind is on the brink of CIVIL WAR.
Now, onto Mark's blog post:


To continue the villainous theme of some of the previous entries on the blog tour I thought I'd have a quick chat about what I think would be the perfect villainous dinner party.   

Now, you might say that a dinner party doesn't seem like a particularly villainous thing to do and I can, therefore, only assume that you've never seen an episode of “Come Dine With Me.”  I actually happen to think that such a gathering would be the perfect opportunity for some of the all time greats to get together and compare notes on their various nefarious schemes.  They could discuss the disappointing level of style and glamour to be found in the modern hero or the relative difficulties of hiring reliable henchmen.  It would be great! 

The initial problem for any host of such a gathering would have to be deciding on a venue.  My first thought was a Hugo Drax style space station in low Earth orbit because there's nothing quite like a dining room with a good view but, that might, unfortunately, raise a few transportation issues.  Trying to get a taxi late at night is hard enough in London, so just imagine the problems at the end of that evening.  You can almost hear the taxi driver already, “sorry Guv, I don't leave the Earth's troposphere after midnight...”  So perhaps it would be best to just use the various guests' private armies to take over a more terrestrial location.  How about the top of the Eiffel Tower?  Good views and plenty of decent chefs ready to be kidnapped nearby.  Perfect. 

The next decision would have to be what to eat?  My first instinct was to see if the Maharaja of Pankot Palace would let me borrow his chef but, then I watched Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom again and realised that while his chilled monkey brains are clearly to die for that he might not be brilliant if we need a vegetarian option.  In the end I decided that we'd go for something more traditional and have Roast Beef with mustard (gas). 

And the guests?  Well here's a short list of some of the wonderful people that I'd like to invite. 

The Joker – Brilliant sense of humour and great converstaionalist.  Always make sure to have a few of your more disposable henchmen around though for him to exercise his more...erm...homicidal tendencies. 

Darth Vader – Great company but, the mask can prove to be a bit of a problem.  Make sure to have plenty of soup.....and a long straw. 

Ernst Stavro Blofeld – Always a pleasure to have as a guest.  Be careful to make sure that he doesn't wire the chairs of any of the other guests to the mains electricity, especially if they have somehow disappointed him. 

Sauron – Some may know him as the tyrannical overlord of Mordor but, I happen to know that he makes a Black Forest Gateau that truly is one dessert to rule them all. 

Lex Luthor – Incredibly intelligent and hugely entertaining just don't mention “the hair” or Superman as he has slight tendency towards ranting at and then randomly disintegrating people if he gets upset. 

All in all, it should make for a highly entertaining evening with only a handful of minion fatalities.  What more could you ask for?

Lanna: I concur with the Darth Vader and The Joker choices, they'd definitely make interesting dinner guests. :P


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