Monday, 26 September 2011

The Captain Jack Sparrow Handbook by Jason Heller

The Captain Jack Sparrow Handbook
by Jason Heller

Summary: He’s the most popular pirate in motion picture history—and now The Captain Jack Sparrow Handbook offers his fans an insider’s guide to all the dirty tricks of the buccaneer’s trade! Complete with step-by-step instructions, helpful diagrams, and full-color photography from the Pirates of the Caribbean films, this nautical treasure trove arrrrrrrrrrrticulates such vital and colorful information as:

• How to Sail a Ship
• How to Survive Being Marooned
• How to Break a Curse
• How to Fight Six Angry Men in a Tavern
• How to Recruit a Crew
• How to Cope with Mermaids
• And much, much more!

I'm a big fan of the Pirates of the Carribean movies. And Johnny Depp. And Captian Jack Sparrow. And when I was younger? I was one of those little girls who would've rather been a pirate than a princess - if you're anything like me, then you'll probably really like this book.

It mixes facts with fiction from the Pirates of the Carribean movies in a format that is fun to read. I love how it talks about things that are kind of silly but in a sort of serious, formal tone. Example:

"Despite far too many popular (and, frankly, demeaning) depictions, self-respecting pirates don't punctuate their speech with nonsense like "Arrrr!" Unless, of course, they're cleverly impersonating someone impersonating a pirate, in which case such poor taste is in the service of a higher and hopefully profitable purpose. Mind you, many pirates aren't self-respecting whatsoever, in which case "Arrr!" is only natural."
And seeing as Jack Sparrow is my favourite part of the movies, the little comments thrown in about him made me laugh, like these ones:

"Like finicky cats and finely dressed ladies, pirates hate to get wet. In a peculiar way, Jack Sparrow might be considered something of a cross between a finicky cat and a finely dressed lady."

"Witness a favourite salutation of Jack Sparrows: "And to what do I owe the pleasure of your carbuncle?" No one's carbuncle is in the least pleasurable, but when delivered with a florid bow and a devilish grin, a potentially hostile individual is immediately put on the befuddled defensive."

"In a way, this is a metaphor for Jack Sparrow's entire conduct. Why grunt and strain to break your bonds through brute force when you can employ some slippery cleverness?"

There's also an entire section on pirate insults - that was pretty much one of my favourite parts of the book (closely followed by the bit about superstitions and the appenxid that gives you the defitions of all the pirate lingo) and had me wanting to provoke my brother just so I'd have an excuse to call someone a bilge rat or a feculent maggot or a salty wench.

As well as being fun to read, it's fun to look at. All of the pages are fancy and coloured and I loved all the illustrations and stills from the movies. Quirk Books really do know how to make their books look awesome, like Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, this is one of those books that is good to have on your shelf even if it's just for visual purposes.

If you're a fan of pirates or the Pirates of the Carribean movies then this book is worth checking out. And I guess that's all I have to say.


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